Author Ruth Smith Meyer

In today's society, this book is a welcome help in negotiating a way of living when two families are thrust together by marriage.  Beyond the Brady Bunch offers practical information to others  who are trying to figure out how to keep their spirituality and sanity within this ever-growing family dynamic. 

These blended families can be the results of a variety of different dimensions which can include not only divorce, but death of a spouse, adoption or the need to raise someone else's children.  No matter how it happens, the way can be a delicate dance down a path strewn with possible hurts, misunderstanding and difficulties.  Ray and Debbie have negotiated this path and know both the hardships and joys of persevering. 

They point out the need to look to God for strength and step-by-step direction.  They also give a lot of practical hints and suggestions for sensitive areas and inevitable differences.  Anyone facing these circumstances will find understanding and will come away encouraged and with idea they can put to work in their own situations.

Church librarians also would do well to make Beyond the Brady Bunch available to their readers.

Mental illness, although more understood in our age, still strikes discomfort and fear in many of us.  Alzheimer’s for the same reason is dreaded.  That reason is the idea of losing control over our own mind and sense of reality. 

Dorothy Ruhwald takes us on a vivid journey through her postpartum psychosis.  Her own memories, interspersed with notes from the nursing staff in the facility where she stayed for several months tells the story from two sides.  At the end, her husband, Kurt, briefly tells the agony of how it looked from his side. 

The progression of the multi-faceted emotions experienced—the fear of the institution and different individuals there, the perceptions of ordinary and spiritual life skewed by the psychosis, the longing to return home and the developing feeling of security in the institution, relationship with other patients and the trepidation about returning to her former life brings fuller understanding to the reader.  Those who have walked the same journey, those who have watched a family member suffer from mental illness and those of us who haven’t been personally touched by it will all benefit from the deeper insight gained by reading this book.

The fact that Dorothy was able to recover and go on with her life, have courage to bear more children and turn her encounter with mental illness into helping others should give hope to others experiencing the same. From Shattered Dreams should also ease the fears of mental illness and inspire us to be supportive of those enduring such times. To this person who values the release and healing that comes from talking about our struggles, I was keenly impressed at how often Dorothy was denied that opportunity because others subconsciously declined her the privilege of sharing simply because they would rather have thought her completely healed rather than still struggling to make sense of it all.  Most often this opinion wasn’t verbalized but the feeling was so intense it was plain to Dorothy.  Those whose loved ones have died, sense that same reluctance to talk about it a short period after death has occurred.

From Shattered Dreams should be found in every church library.  I would highly recommend it to everyone.

In Glaen, Fred Lybrand has chosen a unique way to present his knowledge of human relationships and romance by bringing it to life in a story. Right at the beginning, just as she begins college, Annie Hughes suffers the disruption of a foundational relationship when her parents announce their intention to divorce.

Annie’s life is set upon a path of both self-discovery and the exploration of what makes romantic relationships fail or succeed.  She begins a class on Original Non-fiction with the intention to help others but quickly learns that she must first develop a teachable spirit, and her own faith proves to be the pivotal starting point for her journey.   

In her journal Annie notes popular lies about romantic relationships and counters these with the truths she discovers. Annie’s discoveries are both simple and profound.  She finds that truth itself proves to be the foundation upon which all relationships hinge.  She ascertains that truth can only operate effectively within a relationship when people relate to one another without pretense and unrealistic expectations, and relationships thrive when each partner accepts the other as they are, rather trying to make them over to what they wish they would be.

The end seemed somewhat abrupt. I believe it could have been more satisfying if Annie’s own relationship with its learning could have been documented more fully.  Many times throughout the book I wished the pages would have been more efficiently used by utilizing the space with a fuller story line.  The extra details about other parts of her life and emotions would also have eased the sense that the prime purpose for the book was to advance the teaching—although the teaching has excellent advice for those entering the age for decisions about life partners as well as for those already in a relationship.  Having presented Marriage Encounter Weekends for many years, I recognized many of the same principles in slightly different language.

I recommend this book as a good read for anyone, but especially as a great teaching tool for Sunday School teachers, Youth Group leaders, and parents to use with young people.  Lybrand offers a study guide and other resources for teachers and small group leaders of the powerful principles found in Glaen at www.glaen.com

You Can Still Wear Cute Shoes by Lisa McKay should be required reading for any partner of a minister!  I’d even go further and say in fact that everyone should read it.  The best part of this “assignment” is that you will have a whale of a time reading it! 

For a minister or minister’s wife, it will serve as a guide book, reassurance and most of all will impart a sense of humour when the going gets rough. 

For lay people this book will give an understanding of the pressures felt by the wife and family of a minister and hopefully give them a way of supporting rather than discouraging those important people in the church. 

I grew up in such a family and although I didn’t chafe under the expectations for the most part, just reading this book made me realize that  in many ways, I am still living with those expectations—maybe mostly my ingrained notion that I need to be a little more “perfect” or  principled than the average church member.  Now that might be a goal for which to strive, but it can be discouraging when you face inevitable failure to live up to that expectation.  Being very human, I am all too often in the latter category! Reading You Can Still Wear Cute Shoes figuratively sent me shoe shopping with a clear conscience!

Lisa McKay’s approach of being entirely human, sorting out the necessities of pastoral life, giving permission to say no and still encouraging a godly life are refreshing, freeing  and enabling. Pick up a copy and see for yourself!

US!, a new book by Daniel Tocchini, isn’t about improving marriages. It’s about transforming them. Drawing on personal experience and stories from couples he has coached, Tocchini offers practical guidance to move couples beyond communication tricks and gimmicks to help them truly understand "Us" for the first time—talking honestly, listening generously, tackling tricky issues, breaking out of ruts, and abandoning self-centered “consumer thinking.” The good news, according to Tocchini, is that personalities don’t need to change in order for marriage to work. What needs to change is how we view ourselves, our spouses, and our marriages.

I found this book to be a refreshing change from many because of the decided male perspective.  Although women will find much to help make the most of their marriage bond, I somehow think it may be an book to which men can more easily relate and make a connection with what makes a relationship work. Having worked with Marriage Encounter for many years. I applauded the emphasis on first understanding yourself, then learning to listen generously--or as we say in Marriage Encounter, listening with the heart.  

Couples will find a new richness in their marriage if they read Mr. Tocchini's book and find out the it indeed "is not about you, it's not about me, it's about US!  In turn, they will experience being more fulfilled personally as a bonus.  For they will find a transformation as they learn to: 

·       Expect less—and infinitely more—of their life partner and themselves

·       Actually talk to each other instead of making assumptions (and     accusations)

·       Break free of those recurring, unresolved arguments

·       Manage the impact of difficult (but necessary) conversations on their relationship

·       Defuse conflict without sweeping it under a rug

·       Open the broken places in their marriage (the ones they hesitate even to talk about) to God’s kind of reconciliation 

 I highly recommend this book.

What a journey The Little Ones took me on!  I've had my author-signed copy since June but when I started in a few days ago, I could hardly leave it alone.  Heart-rending but an oh so honest look at the effects, the wide-ranging and long-lasting effects abuse can have on children and their subsequent relationships and feelings of self-worth.

Dorene Meyer doesn't spare us the agony of memories or the devastating flood of emotions that can wash away precious gain when confronted with like circumstances.  I was especially glad that she pointed out the different reactions to abuse as exemplified especially in Verena and Emmeline.  Yet one was just as vulnerable and wounded as the other.  

This story can bring understanding to people who are dealing with those who need support and healing to those who have experienced the pain of abuse.  Foster parents dealing with children of abuse would do well to read this and learn. Doreen Meyer takes it one step further and points out in a dramatic way how Jesus can help both victim and abuser find new life, release and forgiveness.  What a powerful story!  

 What a refreshing read!  This book holds down-to-earth teaching with heart-warming and humorous vignettes that drive the lesson to its mark-right to the garage of our own hearts and lives. There those lessons will remain at the ready to transport us through the next difficulty or faith-challenging episode that crosses our path.  

My husband and I enjoyed reading a chapter each day after our breakfast. Those chapters gave us life-sustaining nutrients to face our days with a smile and trust in God.  

We're anxious to get on with Stan's other book The Buzzards are Circling, But God's Not Finished With Me Yet.  Don't  you think that even the titles are enough to make you want to get reading! 

What a delight to read a love story from a man’s viewpoint!  But it’s more than a love story!  Garret weaves a wonderful tale as he takes the reader into John Tilden’s present life then feeds us little bits of his past that helps us understand his current struggles. 

Sometimes and places in the book, it felt to me as though it was a play-by-play manual of basketball or football, but then, fans of the games may think those the best parts of the book!  I thought there could have been a little less of that aspect.  It seemed to stray from the story line and interrupt the flow.

I wondered most of the way through the book, from where the title “Shame” stemmed.  But there it was—shame in the racism that was such an accepted part of the community,  shame at some unwritten rules that devalued others and perhaps the greatest shame of all, hanging on to the past so tightly that the blessings of the present are missed until they almost slip out of our fingers.

The honesty of feelings and struggles must arise from personal experience, for it rings true throughout its pages.  The read was enjoyable enough that I will look up more titles by Greg Garrett.

...

 Bonnie Grove has a unique way of dealing with dark and troubling issues by throwing in her inimitable humour—you know, the “little bit of sugar…” that transforms the book into a good read and keeps it from getting too heavy.

 The first pages of Talking to the Dead grab the attention of any readers, but especially those who have experienced the sudden death of a spouse. The sense of unreality, the scattered bits of detail intruding into the consciousness—even feeling the presence and hearing the voice of the departed are realistically depicted.  The loss of memory is familiar too. Although Kate’s mind has more pain to hide than most, I liked the way Grove accurately portrayed the phenomena of the mind allowing only as much as a grieving person can handle after a traumatic experience. Grove has also truthfully and candidly included the risk involved in finding help when people are at their most vulnerable. Kate’s story brings into focus that just listening and being with the sorrowing would be much more helpful than jumping in to “fix’ a person’s grief which often brings more devastation—certainly the case in Talking to the Dead. 

 Although the story grabs your attention from the start, as it progresses, the reader’s captivation increases.  With each incredible turn—misunderstanding, mistreatment, manipulation, abuse, finally the revelation of the contributing factors in Kate’s grief journey and eventual release to live again, time ceases to exist until the last page is turned.

 I would recommend Talking to the Dead!

Mohammed's Moon by Keith Clemons